literature

A List of Minor Infractions

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EstrangeloEdessa's avatar
By
EstrangeloEdessa
Published:
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Literature Text

I hate you.
I hate so many things about you.
I hate how fat you are.
I hate the sound of your footsteps
(so heavy and slow it's disgusting)
and the way you rub your face and the look of your skin
and your disgusting, disgusting farts
and your burps.
Please stop burping like that.

I hate how you brought the iPad to the table that one time
(or more than one time, I've forgotten)
and snapped at everybody who tried to glance at it. 
For that matter, I hate your holding the iPad at any time now.
It's even worse than Mama's Russian YouTube or the baby drooling all over the screen
and I hate your old phone and the new one too
and I hate that you're on it RIGHT NOW.

I hate the way the chairs creak when you shift your weight.
And I hate the way you cross your legs.
I'm sorry, but I do.

I hate the way you could ruin the movie for me
with just one snide comment about how
beating people to death for mild annoyances
is "what religions do."

It's freaking Christmas.
The most religious day of the year and I haven't killed anybody.

It's freaking Christmas and--
--no, forget it, you did the same thing on Thanksgiving-- 
you did the same thing after I cooked every single thing on that table
and you've mentioned plenty of times how I don't cook.

I hate
HATE HATE HATE
how spending a day being festive and jolly
is something I'll never be able to do properly
because it's never NOT been ruined
by your stupid snide religious comments.

And I hate,
by the way,
I hate 
that I tried to make myself throw up today
just to give myself something legitimate to complain about. 
Merry Christmas. 

I don't actually hate my dad. Mostly I'm kinda meh about him. He's not a bad person. Sometimes he's great. Like this morning when I looked over my shoulder and saw a Weeping Angel hiding in our Christmas tree, it was even better than last year when he put coal in all our stockings. But for the most part, his good points don't balance out his bad points and his bad points don't balance out his good points. 

Unless it's Christmas and we're watching Life of Brian and it's all a good-humored and funny parody of stupid people taking religion to extremes and my dad makes a comment about stupid people extremes religion being the cause of all bigotry in the world. THEN all I can fixate on are his numerous, numerous human flaws. 

And pray that I can stop hating this guy so much that not seeing him for seven months starts looking like a good option. Because while this may seem impossible to fervent anti-religioners, God is sometimes the one thing keeping me sane in the face of rampant bigotry. 
© 2013 - 2024 EstrangeloEdessa
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curlscat's avatar
curlscat
*offers insufficient sympathy*